Only in Dreams
by Katya Izmir
Summary: Recovering from a near-fatal accident, the hanyou Inuyasha returns to his classmates somewhat changed. His memories skewed he feels out of place in the insitution he once ruled supreme. Soon there is only one soul in which he can find solace... will it la
1. Prologue: Confusion

_**Disclaimer:**_ The ownership of Inuyasha does not lie under my hand, no matter how much one dreams, the only consolation it seems is the fact I get to torture them deliciously in this story.

_**Summary: **_Recovering from a fatal accident, the hanyou Inuyasha returns to his classmates somewhat changed. His memories skewed he feels out of place in the insitution he once ruled supreme. Soon there is only one soul in which he can find solace... will it last or evanescenc like a fading dream? I/K

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_**Only In Dreams**_

_**Prologue: **_Confusion

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_**T**_he atmosphere of the night was mediocre at best with its moonless appearance and grey studded expanse. The stars could not be seen. It was nothing remarkable. Yet the happenstance beneath it's great lengths would be recalled for all of time and then yet forgotten immediately after its horror. A gateway into unreality. A turbulent leap into the world of insanity. A day of lurid grandeur and sanguinary magnificence. In a moment it would begin to rain.

The rush of air and the feel of speed. The stomach dropping and heart weightless, numbness vacuum accompanying every dangerous undertaking was present within the body. Perhaps it was fear, or excitement, or the thrill in knowing it should never be attempted by the human physique. The feels were present albeit all thought was drowned out in the moment of blatant disregard. Feeling, the adrenaline rush, it all became more important, more absorbed then the harsh truths of the predicament.

Bright rays of light, the symbolic end, cascaded over horror-stricken vision. Growing brighter and brighter and bringing with it the anguish of death. Sheets of red splayed over the expanse of death's sight and flowed on endlessly. The beating heart fell silent and the gasping lungs ceased in function.

The sounds of sirens rushed into the take the place of life's nocturne in the sudden silence. Flashes of red and blue, the cacophony of shouted orders and tromping feet through the mud. Rushed and impersonal touches over limbs and body alike. Moving, gliding over an unknown expanse halfway between awareness and endless night. Yet it was enough to hold onto the slight happenstances taking place outside of one's frayed perception.

Wavering, echoing like trapped sounds in a mountainous valley, meaningful dissonance shifted over falling ears. The vocalizations losing every nuance of difference from any other noise of the garish evening. Even so, after the atmosphere shifted to the closed feeling, suffocation, of a smaller aperture to the world last known to the fading mind the sounds developed worded understanding.

"Are you all right?"

A definition of having all be well within the body and the mind and the soul. At the question only then did the numbness expanded over the shoulders down become apparent. There was nary a prickle of pain, or touch of air, or feel of weight, or sense of nearness of another being. There was nothing. Jaws tried to move, tried to form speech in answer, but was trapped still like frozen glaciers converging into the other. Frustration burbled beneath the surface of the cognizant consciousness and then confusion so closely followed apprehension.

"Can you see anything?"

Sight? Perception through the eyes. No. There was only the vast expanse of a night filled existence spread out before this gaze. There was nothing. In an effort the muscles around the eyes flexed, attempting to shut, yet the level of obscurity within this body dwarfed nearly everything in existence. If the eyes had fallen shut, it was not known, and soon became a fleeting care as what became of listing to the questing voice. The strength of pull crowding over the mind, the feel of falling away from oneself, shifted and meandered about until it could not be ignored.

"Are you still awake?"

The final question to grace the ears of the declining existence before oblivion crept over silently and took hold with all the force of a killer stripping life; it went unheard.

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_**A/N:**_

I know it sounds a bit confusing, but there is a reason for it that you will see as the story progresses along. I will tell you now that this is primarily an Inuyasha/Kagome story, however, I will give the other relationships equal air time so worry not! I hope you enjoyed it, though it was short, the actual chapters will be much longer.

There are a total of three stories that I've in mind to write, but since I've only got at the most an hour each day to write at the most I shall only update one a week. With school, homework, and the responsibilities of having to help care for my siblings there is simply not enough time in the day. However, I truly wish to write a story for this anime and have for a while now. Only recently did a friend of mine encourage me to try my hand at it, the catching words of a promise to better my writing with an endeavor to be the best.

Whichever story receives the most reviews will be the one of whom is to be updated first. I plan to finish each of the three and will not leave you hanging, on that you have my word!

_**Katya Izmir **_


	2. Chapter 1: Phantasm

_**Disclaimer:**_ The ownership of Inuyasha does not lie under my hand, no matter how much one dreams, the only consolation it seems is the fact I get to torture them deliciously in this story.

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_**Only In Dreams **_

_**Chapter One:**_ Phantasm

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_**A**_ strong wind swept across the open courtyard, carrying in its wake the feeling of desolate solitude. Not a soul lingered on the grounds of what normally was teeming with the life of the young eager to learn and then the not so eager. Dull eyes trailed over the yellowed white of the picnic tables in detached interest. Not so long ago he had laughed with friends in this very courtyard during lunch hours and in between classes. It seemed a lifetime ago and then just as if it were the other day he had been here in this fine institute of higher learning carrying about his afternoon as he normally would. Instead, it had been six months. He had just woken from a coma two months ago, had gone through rehabilitation and intense study just to reach the level of his weakest peers. There were only three months of school left in the year. Three months to achieve the level of greatest that slipped from his grasp through an act all of his own foolish design.

No one would tell him what had gone on that night. He could not recall the tragic events on his own. He had been informed it was for best his memory failed him, but he did not believe it to be so. He longed to know what had led up to his accident. He longed to know how he had gotten in that car so drunk off his rocker that he could scarcely function. He was desperate to know if his friends had been present and if they had tried to prevent his foolish endeavor. He wanted to understand his actions. He may have lived for the thrill of the race. Speed every ounce apart of his blood that to take it away would surely mean his death. He was not stupid. He would never race under the influence of any substance. In fact, considering the quality of his blood that separated him from the rest of the mortal plain, he could not imagine becoming so lost as not to be capable of making sound judgments.

Therein laid his confusion, his uncertainty.

His friends should have been able to reason with him. Granted, he rarely listened too much, he would have heeded such a warning. He would never have been so far gone where such sound advice could be tossed aside for his own cheep thrills. At lest, he liked to believe so. Truly, though, he really wished no such reality with in the confines of his own mind. People, those he felt closest to him, claimed his persona to be different from what he had been before the incident. He figured it was mindless talk. A person did not sleep and then wake made anew. That only happened to amnesiac patients. He did not have amnesia. Albeit, certain things were skewed in his mind to what they had once been, he was beyond certain he had not changed.

No, he was not changed at all. Even if his mother now watch him with worry in her eyes and his brother and father stepped around him as if he were a sasori-youkai primed for the strike. Even if his friends gave him false smiles when he recanted the past incorrectly and his two best walked over eggshells in his presence. He was not changed at all, of that he was most certain. Those around him were merely paranoid over the grandiosity of his accident. There were not many who could survive his ordeal and come out of it the same as they had always been. They saw that and, trying hard, he saw that well enough not to hold a grudge.

Quickly he turned away from the courtyard and hurried to find the front office that was, nonsensically, placed nowhere near the front as suggested by its title. He veered off to the left and traveled down an open hall that would quickly have him to the back of the school. Or so he hopped, his recollections of late were hardly the most reliable. Not that he allowed himself drown in too many. The remembrance of the past, for one reason or another, filled him with nausea.

"Late again Inu-baka?"

The voice had him stilling uncomfortably. The soft tones of a woman roughened just the slightest bit in caustic regard. He turned and glanced the younger woman up and down, a queer feeling residing strongly in his gut from the perusal. A head of dark wavy locks that would likely brush the bottom of his chin were she close enough surrounded a soft angled face. Her eyes were drawn in dismay, though there was a twinkle of teasing messed with the profound blue color, and her lips were a deep rose that drew his attention almost immediately. "No," he murmured; distracted. "I'm going to the office for my schedule." 

The foreign girl laughed. "Oh, that's right; you were in that accident weren't you? I had heard some things slipped your mind. Did you forget your way to the office as well?" She quipped lightly.

"What?" A dull ache was beginning to take up residence between his temples. This girl, why did she speak as if she was well acquainted with him? He did not recall ever seeing her in his life. While his memories were distorted, he had not forgotten a single person and her face had never been amongst his past.

She shook her head sadly. "Intelligence has gone down as well, I see, and you already had so little to spare." She spoke pityingly, mockingly.

Feeling anger perk up in his chest with white-hot clarity, Inuyasha clenched his clawed hand tightly. He would not snap back unnecessarily. He had more control than that. He would not give this little girl the satisfaction. "Who the hell are you?" He shouted, forgetting all of his talk of control with the seething tone escaping through his parted lips.

The girl grew quiet, the air tense with some foreign emotion he could not quite place. Something with the equivalence of deep despair. The girl swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes shut. Guilt rose up and, unable to squish it like the flee myoga-jijii; he reached out to speak words of apology. The atmosphere cleared and she was smiling softly, sadly. "Higurashi Kagome." She offered berceuse.

He considered the girl before him a moment prior to taking the hand she held out to him in greeting. The pads of his fingers rested lightly over her flesh, his steel like-claws carefully arranged to be no more than a breath's caress against her, shaking with a gentleness that belied the power of his forearm. "Taisho Inuyasha." He returned. There was something about the girl that had him pulling back in great reluctance. At the touch of her downy skin, he had forgotten his irritation and smiled roguishly. To say that he did not find her attractive would be utter blasphemy in the eyes of his best male friend. "Have we met before?" He could not help asking, the familiarity around her would not allow him to set aside this curiosity. As it were, he was going to miss the day conversing with her. She had already missed the majority of her first class as well.

Laughing harshly, the girl brought her hand to smother the sound, her head shaking back and forth in deep mirth. "Of course not, you run with popular crowd. I don't even know why I decided to talk to you like this," her eyes twinkled with amusement as they had earlier. "Perhaps it had something to do with how you, of all people, looked so lost. I don't think I've ever seen you without your confident smirk." She quipped lightly.

"Is that so?" He grinned, it was almost as if she was harmlessly flirting with him, and then waned under the high-pitched yowl of the bell signaling the next class. Sighing heavily, he had wanted to continue their conversation; he doubted the office attendants would be so understanding, as well as whatever teacher the girl had next. "We should both go before we get into trouble, but…" he hesitated. "Can I see you again? At lunch, maybe, or after school?"

Inuyasha did not quite grasp why, but he had this undeniable urge -this gut gripping want- to see this girl again. Truly, he did not even want to leave, fearing irrationally that moment his eyes lied elsewhere she would disappear like morning mist. It was foolish, but it was there, and it was strong. _I have classes to get to, _he thought stubbornly, _and what would it matter if I didn't see her again. She was just a nameless girl before this._ He swallowed hard; she was not nameless any longer, as his mind seemed to whisper traitorously. It fueled the pointless emotion to grow in strength.

The girl snorted in disbelief, her eyes a fraction wider. "You're kidding right?" When he made no sounds to allege her words as truth, she laughed, and he squirmed uncomfortably. "Your kind doesn't deal with mine; in fact you look down on us. Why in the world would you suggest something so laughable? I mean your friends would have a field-day if I joined you at lunch, in fact your reputation as popular would waver."

He blinked. "Is that your only reason, because it sucks."

"It's the greatest reason." She shot back.

"No its not." He rasped in return. "Meet me at lunch, if they don't like it, then too bad." He shrugged. Really, he did not care what they thought, as they only trailed his steps for the money in his pockets. If his father were not some bigwig in technology, making his family the richest in Japan, they would not care to kiss the ground his feet walked across like brainless fools. No, the only ones that mattered where his two best friends, the two whom are real and with him because of him rather than money. He knew that the troublesome duo would not mind her presence. "What's your real reason?" He murmured as he took note of her face that was twisted in reluctance and dismay.

Her blue eyes regarded him warily. "You find me at lunch and then we'll talk." She said and then whirled around, trudging in the opposite direction of the office, loosing herself amongst the student traversing to their next class. He sat and watched until her head of dark hair completely winked out of sight.

The office attendants had expressed their dismay over his late arrival. It had been two minutes to ten when he finally arrived. After speaking with the principle, receiving lectures about appropriate behavior for the school, he had to meet with his guidance counselor Old Lady Keade. After an in depth conversation of his placements and why, he had been given his class-schedule.

_Its strange,_ he marveled on his way to lunch, _being here again._ Though it had not felt that long, he had been asleep for the majority, being in school again felt so foreign. It was almost as if he had been displaced from his body. He felt nothing as his peers welcomed him back to his first class, to history, giving him false smiles and accolades for his speedy recovery. He knew, in his mind he knew, that before he would have reveled in this attention. Now, however, there was only a gapping emptiness in his gut. The psychiatrist hired to help him deal with his accident had warned him that such an occurrence was plausible and to be prepared for out-of-place emotiveness crowding his skull.

It crowded in now. Clawing at his skin, giving rise to the want to flee.

He held it back with an exhalation of breath. Now he moved along the line of students who shuffled their lunch unto plastic trays. So far he had been waiting ten minutes and still had yet get a single item unto his tray. This currently displayed behavior was at odds without how he would normally function in this situation. He never waited in line. He did not have to wait. In his memories he strove ahead and cut in line, charming the lunch ladies for the choice picks. On the occasion he could get one of many adoring female followers to brave the chaos of the lunch line to bring him back his meal. The idea, it did not appeal to him, or perhaps it had more to do with this abnormal feel clouding his thoughts.

Eyes of confusion, of expectation, cut into the flesh of his back like switch blades. His ears quite clearly picking up the whispered conversations of his peers, folded downward in dismay. The hot topic seemed to be of his return and of his less then accurately portrayed normalcy. Soon the voices fell away under the weight of his relentless and restless displacement. He could easily agree with their assessment the longer he stood waiting in line. He had changed and then had not changed at all. He could admit that his normal reactions, those found in his memory, no longer appealed to his wakeful and present consciousness. It felt strange, bizarre, to even consider walking down those roads as he had once carelessly done. Even, strangely enough, it felt wrong and forbidden. His brow furrowed at that, but then quickly dismissed the feel in favor of focusing on choosing his lunch as those ahead of him were currently doing.

Walking through the crowd of students, lunch in hand and paid for, he made his way to the furthest table that caught his eye. It spoke of isolation and he desperately wanted to be left alone with his thoughts. He needed to sort through his own emotion to better grasp why this sense of displacement bogged his shoulders down to the point of pain.

Familiarity lit his features as his eyes spotted a head of dark hair and youthful features that spoke of someone much younger than high school years. He recalled this kid managed to skip ahead one year to be apart of the freshmen class and because of that nearly everyone picked him on relentlessly. The kid always had a ready smile for him, a sort of hero worship sparkling in those profoundly blue eyes. He could hardly walk by without acknowledge the kid's presence, he would feel guilty about it later.

"Hey squirt." He called with a smile and wave. The smile quickly shattered to a frozen sort of shock as those eyes of the kid's looked upon in something akin sickened horror. Fear clouded the boy's sent and Inuyasha moved a step back in confusion. It was all wrong, the kid was not supposed to look at him like that; he was not supposed to act this way. It was all wrong. Hesitantly he held out a clawed hand in helpless confusion, but jerked back when the kid readied himself to be struck. "Are you okay?" He whispered, feeling very unsure of himself.

The kid opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, grasping for something to say, yet clearly too fearful to bring it fourth. Inuyasha was confused and felt sick to his stomach. This was all wrong. The kid was not supposed to look at him this way. He was a hero in the kid's eyes; not a monster lying in wait under the bed.

A firm hand clasped around his shoulder and he turned to see a jovial looking Miroku, but underlying that faced was pure nervousness. "Hey now, leave the poor kid alone. I know he's your favorite to pick on, but he recently lost some one very dear to him, so cut him some slack, eh?"

Inuyasha blinked stupidly. It took him a good second to comprehend wait his best friend was telling him. His amber gazed shifted back to the terrified boy and his insides squirmed. It was wrong. He would never pick on this kid, not when he had so clearly idolized him. No, he had stopped others from doing so, because it was wrong and the boy did not deserve it for merely being smart enough to attend high school. "But I wasn't-." He tried to protest.

"That's right, now come along; I can't keep my lovely Sango waiting." Miroku plowed right along, captured the hanyou's arm to drag him in his wake. Right to overly populated mesh of popular table and so very far away from the seat of solitude he had longed for. Instead of complaining, as he was wont to do, Inuyasha bared it with gritted teeth and a huff of air. "So," Miroku began in the thickened silence between them, "how are you feeling? You look fine, but I don't think you're well enough to be picking on unsuspecting freshmen." He reprimanded slightly, tone still holding that jovial quality he never seemed to be without.

Inuyasha frowned. Could it really be possible that he had picked on that kid before his accident? _He sure seemed to think so,_ he thought as he recalled the pure terror that had crossed the quietly eating boy's face. It was as if he were expecting to be deck at any moment. Miroku also seemed to be of the mind to believe he had the intentions of harassing the freshmen. "It wasn't like that," he mumbled, "I just wanted to talk to him. Are you sure that I bullied him, Miroku, I don't exactly remember that."

The rat-tailed boy slanted him a look that spoke along the lines of, "are you kidding?" Then seeing the utter seriousness cloaking his friends gaze, he answered back gently. "Yeah, though Sango and I never agreed with it, he was your favorite victim." He stopped just short of reaching the table where Sango waved to them upon noticing their arrival, a smile clearly spread over her face. He smiled and waved back before leaning closer to the hanyou. "Is this another one of those things that you're not clear on? If you don't want a repeat I can give you all the names and faces you should watch out for."

Inuyasha shook his head and moved passed his best friend to take a seat next to Sango. How could his memories be wrong? Was it simply the dreams of a comatose mind leaking into his past and replacing his reality with falsities? That had to be wrong. It was simply impossible for the fantasies of a mind wrested into oblivion to hold such a feeling of genuine solidity that he could literally touch, taste, smell it so fully with his enhanced senses. He was loath to believe that those eyes looking upon him with such hero worship were a mere phantasm slipped into his fractured mind to give it a semblance of being whole. The feeling of having that type of emotion placed on him by another was fantastic and he was unsure it he would be able to give it up, real or not.

_No,_ he thought as his amber-eyed gaze found the dark head of hair that caused him this confliction, _I will make it real._ Satisfied with his promise to make amends and to bring that look back into the boy's profound blue eyes, he was able to eat the food in front of him. Yet, with that worry dislodged from his brain, he was able to think of other things.

Taking a bite of his food without really even tasting it, without even seeing what it was he had taken mechanically from the bar, his eyes swept over the mass of chattering students. He perused through the ever shifting bodies of his peers with his sight in pursuit of the female he had meet on his way to the front office. He cheeked those closest to him with a dark mass of wavy hair for those stunning blue eyes that had held him up short in their first meeting, tying his tongue horribly. Everywhere he looked, she was nowhere to be found. Caught between then want to search for her and then to stay seated least he draw more unnecessary attention, his leg began to bounce in the way it did during these moments in his life. Caught Sango's irritated look out of the corner of his eye, but ignored in favor of his dilemma.

Decision made, Inuyasha stood to conduct a grand search of the outside lunch area and then proceed to move inside to find her. If it took that type of detailed examination for her location. His sleeve was caught keeping him from going any further. He cast a curious gaze back to Sango veiled in annoyance. "What?" He snapped. His leg started moving impatiently again. If he did not hurry, she could move from her current spot making her even more difficult to find. Not that he knew where she was currently taking her lunch.

"What is your problem?" Sango snapped back, her brown eyes burning with heated flames. "We've been trying to talk to you the last ten minutes and all you've done is ignore us and look around like an idiot and then there is that leg thing of yours! I repeat, what is your problem?" She bit out, slamming her open palm over the tabletop.

Resisting the urge to snap back, for she was clearly irate enough to attempt bodily damage, he replied. "I was looking for someone, but I can't find her." Though he tried, he could not completely force his tone into the tranquil territory to advert her wrath and thus it come off as hostile. Luckily, she seemed to ignore it, becoming thoughtful.

"A girl you say?" Miroku shifted into the conversation with sly wriggle of his brows. "And just who is this lovely vixen that has managed to snag the attention of the Great Surly One?"

Inuyasha snorted at his quip, opened his mouth to speak, and the faltered. He gave a sheepish shrug. "I can't, for the life of me, remember her name." His brow narrowed and he tried with all of his might to pull the pesky title from the reserves of his memory, only to come up empty handed. "I can't remember it." He sat back down with a huff. He could not go to her now, not after forgetting her name. It would only serve to prove her point. Then again, never coming to find her during the lunch hour would also accomplish this feat. At this stand still did not know how to proceed.

Sango patted his arm comfortingly. "Tell me what she looks like; I might know who you mean."

A sparking in his chest that had recently deflated of air, he swiftly replied, though making sure not to sound so eager. "Very blue eyes, wavy raven black hair that touches the middle of her back, and she probably barely brushes my chin with the top of her head. She was wearing a long black coat thing with blue jeans and no makeup." _Not that she needed it, _he made sure to keep to himself. He paused and then looked at Sango, "have you seen her?"

A weird closed off look came in her eyes and before he could examine it further, it was gone. He made a deep perusal of her features, but there was nary a trace left. He knew what he had seen. She was now apologetic and slightly shame-faced. "Sorry Inu, I haven't seen her. Maybe if you ask around some one might know who you're talking about." She turned back to her meal of grilled fish.

Clearly, any additional aid was not to be found in her, and though he was curious, he resolved not dwell on it just yet. Turning to Miroku, he raised a brow. "You know every girl here, have you seen her?" Albeit he wanted to find the girl, he was unsure if he wanted the knowledge to come from his best male friend. The man was pervert through and through. If he had knowledge of her, either she had been with him or he had groped her and then popped the question. As Miroku said, he never forgot a rear. While he would prefer the later, he would belt his friend for both. If either were true.

Brow drawn down in a deep perplexed frown, Miroku murmured. "How odd, but I don't recall ever seeing her. At least not today. You know there are a bunch of girls with dark hair and blue eyes. You're out of luck my friend." Clapping him on the back, he said. "How bout we look for her after school, or even tomorrow, as lunch will be over in a few minutes?"

Though he wanted to argue against it, he held his tongue. Briefly, he wondered why he even cared to find enough to enlist the aid of his two best friends. It was very brief and quickly shoved aside. There was something about that girl, something that pulled him, drew him and he knew that he could not leave her be until her understood it. With nodded, he murmured, before going back to his meal. "Alright, sounds like a plan." The bell for next period rang before he could take his last bite.

After school, the search proved fruitless. Both Miroku and Sango had joked that he dreamed her up, for no one in the school could put a name to the face he described. It was impossible to make up a persona so real in the middle of walking to the front office, even if one could daydream in the throes of movement. Howbeit they were joking, it struck something in the core of his being, and he felt the overwhelming urge to prove them wrong. He had to prove them wrong.

After separating, moving to path that would lead him home -his care taken away due to his accident- one single thought stayed with him the whole journey. _I will find her and prove that she is real._

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_**A/N:**_

So, what did you all think? I gave you this chapter, though I said I was going to put up a chapter to a different story first, because I felt that you couldn't really decide if you like it more or not with how little I gave you. I also decided to only place two stories at a time because three would just be on too many.

This story would only be about ten chapters at the most, possibly one or two more, but that's it. The next one I'm putting up will probably be twenty and the third -the one I'm gonna wait on- will more than likely amount to thirty.

Review and tell me what you think -k- because I'm really anxious to know, this being my first fan fiction and all.

Katya Izmir


	3. Chapter 2: Disorient

**_Disclaimer:_** Unfortunately I do not own Inuyasha, however, I am grateful for the opportunity to torture them deliciously in this story.

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**_Only In Dreams_**

**_Chapter_ Two: **_Disorient_

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**Phantasmagoria_._**

A series or group of strange or bizarre images seen as if in a dream. His physiatrist said that it was normal for one in his position to experience this kind of eerie happenstance. It came to him on and off through out the entire first week of school. He would walk down the hall, in the midst of a lesson, or speaking with his mother and these images would fly across his vision and he would be lost to them for a time. It was the worst when it occurred in his mother's viewing.

He will still impossibly in the middle of their conversations, during meal time, or in the midst of passing her in the house. Massive pain would scavenge through his skull with razor talons and sheer fangs. Words of unintelligible material would fall from his lips and the only thing to bring him around would be the scent of his mother's tears. He had even been told that his brother had slugged him across the cheek once, to snap him from it, much to his surprise. Sesshoumaru's hits were like being nailed with sledge hammer with all the force of a bullet train.

Unfortunately he had to walk around the entire school day with massive purple bruise over his cheek.

Leaning forward over the railing, he contemplated distantly letting his weight give way to bushes below. He hated being the cause of his mother's tears. He remembered in his younger years, she was always crying. Until recently, when women decided to desire him, he had been subjected to the prejudices of this world. He had not a single friend aside from Miroku and Sango, though they appeared in his last year of elementary, thus until then he was alone.

His hands fisted over the railing, warping the mental slightly, as an inimical rage worked its way through blood stream. After his fist he never remembered the images he saw. There was something, an important in them. A fear so great that it brought him to his knees in anguish. The emotion was not his own. It belonged to someone else. He snorted and the hostility left him quickly as he deemed his reaction silly. Getting so worked up over images he could not recall and emotive that he could not accurately proclaimed to be real. Sometimes, when he thought back, his earlier feels would vanish and all was like a mist filled dream lacking true substance.

A sharp, startlingly harsh, bang boomed around him as his fist smashed in the railing before he turned from the balcony in his rage filled huff. He despised this, absolutely loathed it. He was not himself anymore. He was not the person remembered so well in the minds of his peers. Over the week he had come to be rather alone as more and more walked away from him.

"I am the same." He muttered lowly as he rushed from his room.

It was hardly his fault that he could not bring himself to envelope the partying mood he been so widely known for. He had just come from a coma that had been spurned on by those antics. How could they look at him differently so soon because he had not caused some masterfully laid prank? How could they whisper about his nonexistent change because he was not trying to find his way down some girl's skirt? He had just been released from the hospital and needed rest. He did not need a clingy girl or trouble from his earlier routine. He was just so tired and had so much work to catch up on from his months of school missed if he wanted graduate at the top of his class.

He was determined to maintain his excellence of last year. Determined to be the best and determined find acceptance to one of the leading collages for business. It had been his plan since he was in kindergarten and his bastard teacher told him he could never hoped to be as great his father and half-brother. It had been like a slam in the face. Later, he discovered that was how the world saw him. He smirked a little despondently. _Yeah, well, I'll show everyone what I can do and I'll get there one my own merit._ The thought sparked tenacious warmth to spread through his chest. It was one vow to himself that he would never break.

Grabbing his jacket from the entry closet, not bothering with a servant, he hurried to the mansions egress hopping that walk would cure his despairing thoughts. Wiping amber coated sight to the left as the clearing of a throat stimulated his ears with sudden sound in the silence, he scoffed quietly. "What do you want Sesh?" He spoke clearly after the shock of sudden sight vanished. In its wake he felt shame for having not sensed his brother the moment the inu-youkai ambled into his range of sense.

"You're making your mother worry." He said plainly, eyes hard as flint.

Inuyasha flinched almost imperceptive, shooting back defensively. "Since when you have you cared about her comfort?" He shifted ever closer to the exit, clawed hand resting over the door handle in preparation to vacate the grand entryway. "You've caused her far more anguish."

He could not be sure, but at his carelessly thrown commit his aniki winced and soon he was looking to a moments guilt filled gaze tempered by remorse. It was gone before he could fully comprehend its presence. "Never-the-less, you should apologize for your unnecessary antics. You've been acting something of louse since your return and she doesn't deserve your anger for merely stating her worry. I, myself, agree with her suggestion and think it would do you some good."

Eyes narrowed, he spat. "You only want me out of the house; I bet you had a good old time with me in a coma! What, with the half-breed mistake out of your hair!"

Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth and turned on his heel. "Think what you will, you always do." Then added quietly, softly, as he glided leisurely away. "You should treat your mother carefully, you're lucky to even have one such as her."

Watching his brother stride away, shame burned in his throat as if a lump of flaming coal had been forcefully lodged by his brother's own hand. He moved, his mouth forming around his brother's name, and then halted. Standing in the same position he watched as the older youkai left the room. He would never hear his apology if it were ever spoken, there was no need to waste breath. The knowledge helped very little with the searing of his chest. Sesshoumaru's mother had died while giving birth to him. It was hardly what one would call a normal death. Once he had found the truth at the age of ten he had changed, retreating into a cold and unapproachable shell. Inuyasha had never known his brother to be any other way, but their father spoke of it on the occasion.

The late wife of Toga had perished by her own son's hand. It was hardly the fault of the child other than fact of his uniqueness. There were not many inu-youkai who held poisonous claws, in fact they were near nonexistent and so the precautions to take were not widely known. On the way out his aniki had released the poison from his claws out of fear, fatally poisoning his mother. The knowledge had been discovered much too late for any difference to be made. There part of his heart that would forever be scared by the knowledge had snooped to find, and Izayoi had attempted to mend it by acting as a mother for the child whom had never known a mother's love.

Sesshoumaru wanted no part of little brother's mother. She was not his own and she was human and had birthed a hanyou. She was beneath him. He had been young and was hurting and so lashed out at the woman trying to step in and show him a mother's love. A love he had been denied through accidental death. As he got older he began to appreciate her efforts and loosed his hostility till it vanished. Inuyasha felt immense guilt at having down opened his mending wound.

Now he set out, not with the intention of locking away despairing thoughts, but rather tampering down despairing emotion of penitence. The cold rush of winter's air sped over his features like the touch of icy hands. A run through the forest of the property would work wonders upon his agitated flesh. When he rushed through the speedy movements, at times leaping and becoming lighter than air, he felt pure euphoria. Thoughts would disperse to furthest reaches of mind and he would become blank, feeling only the deepest sensations of peace and pleasure. He soared now, moved through the thick corpse of trees to his prized location. Ascending upward until reaching the mountains top, he paused along the end, back resting against the peek while his eyes gazed ever outwards. An expanse of darkness and then glittering lights rushed out before him, resembling the sky reflect upon the ocean's depths.

After a moment he easily resolved to perform something that would clearly state an apology to his brother, as actions speak much louder than words. Hopefully it would be heard better than any sentence of repentance he had ever spoken. Leaning forward his mind swiftly moved to sift through his other trouble while he had the chance uninterrupted.

His mother, because of his moments of spacing out and speaking with no purpose or sense, wanted to send him away to a center in another country. She felt he would rest better under the care of the best specialists in the field of coma patients and recovery. Inuyasha felt it was unnecessary, overkill to what had already been prescribed, and wanted to stay and finish the last three months of school. He would be so behind on his studies if he left and dreams of proving the world wrong would go up in smoke. He understood that she was worried and, now that he sat on it, his reaction was not all that essential to belch fourth. Chin resting upon his knee he sighed heavily, forlornly. Next time, when the conversation came up, he would explain his reason's to stay in a calm manor, forgoing on loosing his temper. In fact, he would not wait and on his return he would be sure to make amends with his mother.

He had never meant to make her cry. The mere thought had him clawing at the ground in sheer displeasure and upset with himself. His face twisted, fangs biting his lip, till everything fell away with a breath of defeat. He relaxed back against the peek. Getting worked up would not help him now, nor would it have in the mind set to have a calm conversation with his mother when the time came. With that resolve his mind blanked, eyes feasting upon the fantastic view.

The wind rustled the trees and tugged at his long hair with icy fingers, he did not feel the cold. His skin was made of stronger stuff than a human's outer shell. Even so, after a while he would have to return or else risk freezing. Especially at this altitude. His gaze shifty to the inky expanse of the sky, mind blank and then mind wandering through many nameless musings until settling upon subject.

That girl.

He had seen neither hide nor hair of her for the entire week.

Inuyasha had probably searched the entire school top to bottom at least three times and then questioned the students triple that amount. It had almost become an obsession. The need to prove that he had really seen her, had really conversed with her, surged through his veins. Having viewed these strange images flash over his mind's-eye on the occasion, he had too prove that she was not another phantasm to blindside his waking moments. Though they had not mentioned their doubts, both Miroku and Sango expressed that truth of feeling in discreet looks and all over body language.

Though he was irritated, angered, over their lack of faith he feigned ignorance. It didn't matter at moment, not enough for him to burst into his usual theatrics. He needed his focus in the finding the girl. Inuyasha swallowed hard over his own thought. Fussing this much over one simple nigen girl was not normal behavior, especially not for the hanyou kicked back against the mountain's peek. It frightened him a bit, this consuming need to find her and prove her reality amongst this world. Even if she were real, she was nothing but a stranger, ragging torrent of emotion all surging like a hurricane amongst the ocean in his veins made absolutely no sense.

There was something in her eyes when she looked at him, something deep and hidden and soul graspingly captivating. A burst of darkness hidden amongst an innocent blue sky. He wanted to reach out and wipe away what must have been a drip of paint from the brush stroking out her lashes. Only holding back from the imperfect for fear of making it worse. Never-the-less, he had to find her, and he to understand. He would never find greater comprehension if she remained like a wraith clinging to that day and that day alone. Standing, stretching his back muscles, he made his way down the mountain side to return home. The effort had proved fruitless. He only managed to think more on what he had attempted to escape with this excursion.

The moment he step foot back inside the mansion, his mother's voice floated over his hearing. "Miroku called, but since I couldn't find you I told him I'd have you call him back." Inuyasha smiled slightly, looking away from his mother. Already the events earlier this day were forgotten and forgiven. It was one of the many fantastic, warming, and endearing qualities of his mother.

Finally, shoot her a soft and remorseful look, he murmured. "I'm sorry about this afternoon, I shouldn't have yelled, you're only worried about me. Except, mom, I really would rather just stay here and finish out my school year. I'll never be caught up with everyone else if I leave, and you seem to forget that your son is half-youkai. I'm not going to break." He looked back to the marble flooring, just in case her features reflected hurt, sorrow, or overwhelming concern. He would fold immediately either these feels displayed so cleanly across the contours of her visage.

He started at the feel of her hand upon his arm. Rather than the three mentioned emotions, her face was completely understanding. "I know, your father and I had long talk about it all. I understand that you want to finish school as well. I would really like you to go just to be sure, but I won't force you and I won't bring it up again unless something really bad happens. Deal?"

Inuyasha grinned slightly. "I can work with that." Reaching over, he wrapped his arms around his mother. "I'll call Miroku back later; I'm just going to some rest." Releasing her he trudge up the stairs the floor his room resided. All of his previous thinking made him tired.

_**Anxiety.**_ It was a heavy feeling wrapping around the occupants of the room. A violet shaded gaze swung to his companion in anguish over the deceit. Currently he was resting lazily over the arm of his couch in an attempt to ease the tense atmosphere. "What are we going to do? We can't keep this up forever; he's bound to figure it out."

The other shrugged lightly, lengthy hair swaying with the action. "We can't exactly tell him that 'you know who' is back. He forgot, remember." She pointed out logically.

He sighed heavily. "I just don't like doing this to him, we're being deceitful. When he finds out-"

"He'll understand." The female companion cut in with more optimism that he felt she ought to feel over such a remark. He cut her dry look and she grinned sheepishly. "I'm sure he'll understand when we explain how he screamed and clutched his head in pain at the mere mention of anything having to do with that."

"I still don't like it!" He leaned forward, scowl scrunching his brow. "What do you suppose that person is doing here anyway?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

_**Glancing **_around the overly crowed mall, Inuyasha began to question whether or not he was as sane as he would have himself believe. He hated crowded places, the mall worst of all, and now he was developing a dull ach between his eyes. It seemed like a good idea at the time. He had tried calling Miroku back some time around seven, but the pervert never picked up. He could only assume the man to be busy with another pretty face. It was Saturday after all and Miroku was never home on such a day if it could be helped. He had thought about calling Sango for his whereabouts, but immediately shut the idea out. If he was not with her it would only a cause another fight to last a ridiculous amount of time.

He wanted aimlessly through the crowds, never stopping to peek at the stores surrounding him on all sides, hardly paying any mind to where he was going. Again he had to wonder what possessed him to come to this madhouse without dire coercion. Normally Sango had to threaten to set Horaikotsu on his behind. This giant boomerang-bone that had been passed down from mother to daughter for generations upon generations. Albeit in this day and age slayers were hardly needed, her father and even she had been called on the occasion some lesser youkai were acting up. Mostly it was handled by the greater youkai in the police force.

Shoving his hands in his pocket he took in the surroundings with a heaving breath. He ought to leave rather that wander a place he really would rather not be. The smells were aggravating and the noise barely tolerable. Never-the-less he felt compelled to remain wandering the many walkways of the mall. For what purpose, he could barely bring himself to understand what inner working of his mind was urging him to remain at this.

Well, since it appeared he was going nowhere soon, he might as well it the food court. The destination in mind, he hastily changed his direction, nose following the smell of food. His steps slowed to a crawl and his ears twitched. Over the din of the mall he could the high-pitched yowls of protest of a female voice begging for freedom. Hunger forgotten, he hurried in the direction in hopes of bringing with him some relief to the girl's plight. On his way he became angry, appalled even, at the lack of attention the occupants of the mall offered. There had to be thousands milling about, a good portion youkai, and not a single gave rest to living their daily life to step fourth and give a hand. Scowl formed over his features in pure frustration, _for all they know this girl is going to be rapped and killed._ He could never live with himself if he did not try helping her out of the situation, stranger or not.

Turning down a less crowded hall he took a right coming to a section of the mall that was roped off for some reason or another. Moving down the abandoned area filled with cleaning supplies and unnamed boxes, Inuyasha froze in place as if he were slapped in the face. Shock alighted features and than euphoria. These feelings of having found the girl he had been searching blanked the image of what was transpiring from his eyes.

The crack of a flesh meeting flesh harshly rang hallow in his ears and he moved without thought, mind blanking perilously. The next thing he knew the wolf she had been struggling with was knocked out and bleeding all over the floor. His own body ached, proof that he had been in a fight himself. The girl in his arms starring at him in disbelief. "Inu-baka…" She trailed softly, breathlessly, as her eyes rolled to the back of her head in a dead faint. He grappled with her sudden dead weight a moment, before catching her legs at the knees with right and back with his left arm.

The hanyou did not know what to think or feel. The girl he had been searching for a week was passed out in his arms after having been attack by another youkai. Briefly he wondered what lead to this point, but at the moment he did not care. She was in his arms. He had proof that she was real. There was no possible way that he could have found her like this if she were merely a figment of his imagination. She was real. A giddy feeling worked its way through his chest, making him lighted headed. Holding her close he hastily exited the mall. He had been worried at first, but no one paid them more than a second glance before going on their way. While he was glad, he was upset too. For all they knew he had done something too her and something yet all the more evil in mind. It made him question the morality of the people around him. Setting the girl on the passenger side of his blood red BMW, he situated her in what appeared to him a comfortable position before shutting the door.

He had been driving for a quite a while, a specific destination in mind, when the girl finally stirred. She sucked in a panicked breath, bolting up, eyes frantically scurrying about the moving vehicle. Upon seeing him all of her worry and fear deflated with the exhalation of her lungs. She eased back into the seat. "So I really did see you." She murmured tone of light humor.

"What was going on, what did I walk in on?" He blurted. If it was something random or if she was being targeted, he wanted to know. Deep down, he had to help her.

The girl winced and laughed piteously. "I don't want to talk about it right now." Her head shifted to the side while gaze focused on the window of her door. "Maybe I'll tell you after you drop me off at the Higurashi Shrine." She did not bother giving him directions. There was no need. Everyone knew of that shrine. It was legendary as that was the Shikon no Tama was born and died. He was sketchy on the details, truthfully he never really paid attention when his father, or Myoga, or his teacher spoke of said events. It was important they would say, but really it always nearly put him to sleep. He had no interests in the distant past, only the future.

"What's there?" He inquired casually.

"My home."

"You live there!" He crowed out in shock.

She turned to face him, eyes scrutinizing him carefully. She blinked in her own type of shock. "You mean, your really didn't know? I thought that everyone at school knew who I was descended from." She said slowly, though more to herself. She shrugged, almost as if she were unconcerned, and turned back to her vigil of the side window.

Inuyasha shrugged in return. "My first day back was the first time I'd ever seen you?"

The girl chuckled mirthlessly, self-pityingly. "I know." Her voice was a choked breathless whisper that he was sure he was not meant to hear. Howbeit with his hearing, and the fact the radio was not on, he caught the syllables quite clearly.

For the rest of the drive silence reigned supreme. A deafening silence. The quiet solitude of a graveyard at midnight. The comparison made the hanyou feel uneasy for some unfathomable reason. To get his mind from it, he superstitiously glanced at the girl beside him. His eyes traced over her form curiously, though without a hint of salacious intent as per the norm were he found in a similar situation. He still could not really recall name and it was out of pride that he did not inquest it from her. He still recalled her bitter accusations when they first met, just as he recalled every nuance of her face. It was strange, but in the brief study of their first meeting, he had memorized even the slightest contour of her visage and body. He had seen her in his dreams. Dreams that were so real he would often wake in the assumption of their reality. He would look around for her only find himself prone in his bed.

It frightened him, this need to see her again, but it would vanish now that he had found her. His obsession had been born out of the indigence to prove her solidarity amongst this world of living and breathing entities. Now that he had this feeling would ebb and he could ignore her after this as there would be nothing further to tie him inexorably to this girl. A girl whose name he could scarcely recall.

Making a left at a corner, Inuyasha parked his car parallel to a mountain of steps. Wordlessly the girl stepped from his BMW and hastily tackled the steps. He followed at a slower pace, somewhat in awe of her ability to maintain her pace even after so long. She was only human and could take only so much physical strain to her body. Stopping on the last step, she paused, and breathed deep before turning down to face him with a melancholy smile.

Inuyasha's breath caught in his throat, his body froze in his mirrored movements, becoming stiffer than stone. The full moon's light silhouetted her form in a pale glow, illuminating every crevice. Breath shattering beautiful. His lungs strained in his chest painfully, it almost hurt to look at her like this, like an angel come to this tainted world. Too sinful to look.

Her words destroyed his trance. He blinked and strained his focus to comprehend the words coming from her mouth. "That man you saw me with, he's my boyfriend." He then noticed the look of her face was a doleful gray heightened in intensity by the moon's glow. Where as before he had been struck stone by her picturesque presence, he was now rendered by the penetrating sorrow in her in gaze. It cut him too the quick and soon he could feel nothing more than the emotion shimmering like the stars in her eyes. This feeling, it was delightful as it was hated. "That's all you need to know, oh, and thanks for the save. I really appreciate it." She turned to leave.

Using all the speed contained in his partial youkai body, Inuyasha caught her arm before she could take more two steps from the edge of the stairway. Ripping her back, he grasped hold of both her arms firmly. "No, that is not all! He's your boyfriend? What right does he have to hit you like that?" Removing one hand, he cautiously ran a clawed finger down her tender cheek. He had not noticed it before, but it was swollen and dark with a bruise. "Is this why I can't find you in school, because he's doing this to you? I thought you were someone stronger that this, I thought-." He stopped. He did not really know her, who was he to name her persona. His hand came back her arm clenching tight, though being careful of claws. "Tell me his name! Tell me his name and he won't touch you again!" He spat fiercely.

She laughed lightly, smiling ruefully in his face. "Your very unique Inu-Baka, but it's going to take more than that to help me. Just stay out of it okay." She tried to extract herself to no avail.

His brow drawn into a deep frown, he question huffily, choosing to ignore her dismissal. "Why do you always call me that?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." She sang teasingly with a secretive grin. Swiftly her joking manner vanished and her face enveloped solemnity. "Let me go, now that this all over, I need to get some sleep." She forced out an exaggerated yawn.

"Nothing is over." Inuyasha insisted stubbornly. "You just refuse to make this easier. How can I help you, protect you, if you won't tell me anything?"

Her face softened and she touched his cheek. A touch that sent jolts down his spine. He the sudden urge to burry his nose in her neck and drown in her scent. A scent that was beginning to make his head impossibly light. "You want to protect me," she murmured almost as if it were a foreign idea, "I…. If you can find me again at school on Monday, I'll tell you more, if you remember. Don't worry, I plan to show up." She grinned cheekily.

With a breath Inuyasha conceded and released his hold. "Alright, but if you don't come I will find out, so remember that I know where you live and where to go to hunt you down." Giving into a want, a desire, he grasped her suddenly to his chest. He relished in the feel of her small body flush against his solid build. Warmth exploded in his heart and he leaned forward to whisper. "I want to protect you, but I can't do that if you don't let me." He turned abruptly, unwilling to see her reaction, hastily ambling down the mountain of steps. He scarcely understood what possessed him to act so familiarly with a girl he had only met twice. A girl who did not seem to like him much at all.

"Oh and Inu-Baka," she called and halted. "Since you seem like such a forgetful person I feel the need to remind you. My name is Kagome."

Smiling a genuine smile, he left.

_**A/N:**_

Sorry, it kind of took a while, but I couldn't really get this chapter the way I wanted in the beginning; I'm satisfied now. I was kind of nervous that I was giving away too much too soon, but I think how I put it wasn't giving away too much. Just more curiosities.

Have you ever heard of slipknot's vermillion prt.2? I think it makes the perfect song for this fan fiction. If you have than you might understand, and if you haven't you can find it here….

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There also other songs that I listen too while I'm writing, who knows, there might be something you like.

Oh and I want to thank all of my reviewers, I love your reviews! They're awesome and totally brighten my day and make me think! Plot wise! That's a good thing too, don't want to make anything too predictable.

Katya


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